The power of music December 15, 2009

I was listening to the song Peace from George Winston’s December. It’s a song that sometimes makes me feel a little sad.  Today I realized that the sadness is really just a reaction to the simple soft melody. Thinking about the song led me to think about what I want from this holiday season.

Christmas time with my family used to be a time of togetherness. There was usually a jigsaw puzzle, which the children and I would put together. It was a time for conversation about their lives, under the guise of finding the right piece. And as they grew into teens they could still be lured to sit with mom for awhile to help with the puzzle.  We used to carol with friends, going through our neighborhood spreading joy and cheer with a dose of slapstick and silliness.  It was fun and definitely low tech. I always made cookies; sugar cookies to decorate, gingersnaps and bourbon balls. It was never about glitz or an overabundance of materialism.

As my kids got older we stopped doing some of those family-oriented activities.  Partly due to the natural changes that occur when children grow up and move away. Moving, divorce, illness, teen-stuff got in the way.

Traditions are what makes Christmas for me. It’s not really a religious celebration: I’m not sure that the story of Jesus isn’t simply a great epic story. But the ritual continues to mean something to me. And, in it’s absence I feel a void.

So.  I will get a  live tree and decorate it. I will spend evenings with the candles burning and the tree lit, listening to my favorite holiday music. I will cook and decorate as it suits me. I’ll buy some eggnog and spice it up like my father-in-law always did… with a splash of bourbon, brandy and dark rum.  I’ll  fill stockings with little silly toys and candy  for my children and family.  I will not obsess over the perfect tree, or getting ‘enough’ gifts. I will not go crazy with shopping or spend much money.

And, should I forget this, I’ll pop in some peaceful music and remember what my goal is.

12 Days December 14, 2009

To date this is the closest I’ve come to a holiday preparation- perusing the image files for a good look gift picture!

No need to panic, though there are only 12 days until the big day arrives! I’ve done nothing. Absolutely nothing.

So, today I’ll take on a Christmas task. What will it be? Maybe I’ll make a list of who I need to buy gifts for? Or maybe I’ll start looking at cookie recipes and make a grocery list?

It’s a toss up. Both ideas are procrastinations of sorts.. no actually work seems necessary in either case. But if I turn on Christmas music while I’m ‘working’ it’ll seem festive.

Saturday’s Sex Quote December 12, 2009

“Our culture uses sex in the most cynical way to “sell” anything- even though we blanch when sex is presented simply, or sold for itself.” Susie Bright (B.1958) American writer, editor

Dear Goddess December 11, 2009

Dear Goddess,

I need help. I’m an average guy who doesn’t understand women. I had this girlfriend. She asked me to move out after telling me that I was “unfixable”. Initially we talked and saw each other.. then we started breaking up and getting back together. Last week I finally told her it was over for good.

She went nuts. I’m afraid.  I think she’s stalking me.

She’s the one who dumped me, telling me that she was tired of sacrificing herself for me. That’s pure bullshit, I’ve spent time, energy and money taking care of her issues. And now she’s saying she still loves me and refuses to believe me. She’s sneaking around my yard, calls and texts me incessantly. She’s calling my family and my friends.

I just want it to be over. What do I do?

Signed,

Perplexed

Dear Perplexed:

What a mess.  I am honored that you’ve turned to the Goddess. The whole man-woman, relationship thing  can be very challenging. Women aren’t always predictable and your ex-GF sounds a bit batty.  If you’re clear that the relationship is over and you’ve communicated that to her then you are in the clear.

You don’t mention whether you’re responding to her calls and texts? If she’s really displaying stalking behavior then I’d suggest you cut all communication.  Watch your back. You should start keeping a journal of everything that happens as well. Collect any and all evidence!

Let’s hope that she tires of this and moves on to find her next victim! Best of luck.

Goddess

Dear Santa December 10, 2009

What do I want for Christmas? As if I get a say in that!

I want my family all together in one place for a few days

I want a distraction-free period of time to be totally selfish

I want affordable health insurance and the same for everyone else

I want to win the lottery

I want the Man-Child’s ex-girlfriend to buzz off

I want a snowy holiday

I want to learn to live a more simplistic, pared down life .

I want my friends, in real time and in the blogging world to feel a similar sense of freedom and fulfillment in their lives.

I want the moon!

For the Man-child December 9, 2009

Wondering on a Wednesday December 9, 2009

If you were to put your life story to music, what genre would it be right now?

I’m wishing for some Alex DeGrassi or William Ackerman, Windham Hill style- soft and gentle. Bland.  Mellow, even-keeled.

The man-child is experiencing a true, classic country music life right now (you know- the blues, d-i-v-o-r-c-e, heartbreak, down and out kinda stuff- all twangy and incredibly messed up).

You?

Kan you wait til the morning? December 8, 2009

The Kindle is the biggie for this year! Or is it? I don’t want one, somehow it seems too sterile. I like to hold a book in my hands. I want to mark my pages, write notes in the margin, feel the words.  I don’t want a Kindle. Even though I love technology, and the thought of a new toy is intriguing.

But, last night I was watching Cash Cab when 2 women said Robinson Crusoe was the fictional character of Jonathan Swift who went to Lilliput.  At that moment I wanted to read Defoe’s book. In that moment, if I owned a Kindle I could have downloaded it.

Do I really need such immediate gratification? Can’t I wait for the library to open?  Here’s the problem, we’ve become so used to getting what we want, when we want it that we’ve become demanding. It’s a kind of narcissism; gimme, gimme.

When I’m taking a trip I carry more than one book. I come prepared. I’m not going to change my mind in the check-in line at the airport.  I pick up a book when I walk out the door in the morning, deciding what kind of book might work for waiting in line, or for an appointment. It’s not a lengthy or complicated process.  I have a stash of real books that could keep me reading for at least a full month, round the clock. At a minimum.

So, the money I save by not buying a Kindle  can be used on paper and cloth books, ones I can hold in my hand, save on the bookshelf and pass on to my children or donate to a bookfair.  Or I could buy a new pair of shoes. Ya know, some sexy black boots for motorcycle riding!

Who says older women aren’t sexy? December 7, 2009

Santa Confuclause says December 6, 2009

“He who will not economize will have to agonize” Confucius

“He who buys excessively at Christmas will go into massive debt and wallow in pain through the month of January.” Santa Confuclause