I’m going to be 55 next month. It’s just another day-and no I still haven’t signed up for AARP and do not intend to. I don’t get uptight about age-obviously I don’t hesitate to reveal it either. I saw an acquaintance today who is my age- she didn’t see me- and I had the snidest of thoughts! Admittedly it wasn’t her best hair day, but she looked old, frumpy, chunky. I think I look pretty hot, so it was an uplifting-if catty-moment.
I do want to make it clear that gifts are welcome. My email is delicate54flower@yahoo.com; drop me a line and I’ll send you my address. You’ve got until August 12.
What a sticky relationship trap gift-giving can be. Two months of dating, NO… 3 months… wow, OMG! THREE months on August 18 (it seems much longer than that). So, how big a gift should dear Joe be planning? If any? What is Delicate Flower anticipating? Will he need some help, hints?
Honestly I don’t have major expectations. My husband couldn’t figure out what I liked and we were married for over 24 years. I gave up on him and bought my own trinkets! I do believe that a couple should know each other well enough to have some idea of what their partner likes… but probably not after 3 months. Joe’s ex-wife gave him explicit lists with sources and costs. I’m not doing that! Hell, no- but I don’t want to leave him hanging either. Of course I realize that he may not intend to do the gift thing and this post may create pressure.. Oh well..
So, I’m going to offer a few suggestions, in no significant order
- A trip to some exotic coastal location in a foreign country
- The winning lottery ticket so I can quit my job
- A set of expensive Egyptian linen sheets for my king size bed.
- Have the outside of the house painted, yes the brick too
- Trip to NYC: expensive hotel, Broadway tickets……..
- A week at Canyon Ranch spa (for me)
- Those $729 boots, for future motorcycle riding
- A big flat screen TV for the downstairs den. Wait- that’d be more for him than me
- A boob job, not an enlargement, just a lift
- Expensive jewelry
Or more realistically:
- A fun day trip for the two of us
- A bouquet of wildflowers
- A foot massage
- A planned evening out, doing something we both like.. a surprise
- Maybe that new sex toy?
- Help me paint my kitchen
- A pocketknife
- Anything you think would be a fun gift….
With thanks to my friend, Anonymously Secret for the gift list idea!!!
I’d settle for a bunch of wildflowers. Or a book. I love getting books as presents
Wonderful choices. I love books too but it’d be hard to know what to choose for me. And, right now blogging, writing and romance have so consumed my time that there is no time for reading… and I feel the ‘loss’. Your lreading list is pretty impressive, by the way.
Don’t want to spoil the surprise but I think he’ll get you #1 or #4 on your more realistic list.
I believe this list was inspired by me. You’re welcome
I”d guess #4 with #5 for the latter part of the evening!!!
YES! An honorary mention! I love being mentioned!!!
“I would like to thank my parents, my friends, my neighbour, my computer, my dog…”
Aren’t you funny.. You have provided me some inspiration!!
On the first list, I suggest #5. That’s exactly what Mr. YnB and I did for our 50th birthdays (we are 11 days apart in age). It was the best time ever! We both loved it. And he surprised me with an extra special gift while we were there. My 50 rock! (A story goes with this but it’s too long for a comment post)
On the second list I would suggest #3 & #4 and throw in a limousine to boot!
Sounds like you and the Mr. have a good time together.
3 and 4 do sound good.. rub my toes the right way and I’m putty…..
same here!
In advance, I warn you, I’m a terrible gift giver… Here are my offerings. Such as they are…
A dream date with Avery Ant http://averyant.com/video_dreamdate.html
A lifetime supply of wine
Go-go boots that are made for walking
Something involving ice cream, daisies and cool whip
Poems about merkins
those are great gifts… I get a little warm and oozy just thinking about the ice cream, daisies and cool whip. Flowers lead back to scene in Lady Chatterley’s Lover.
As for merkins: finally got the real lowdown:
Dear Cecil:
What exactly is a “merkin”? Ever since the word was thrust into my consciousness it’s been tormenting me. My Oxford English Dictionary defines it as the “female pudendum,” which seems a trifle sedate, given the listed quote of 1714, “This put a strange Whim in his Head; which was, to get the hairy circle of her Merkin … This he dry’d well and comb’d out, and then return’d to the Cardinal, telling him, he had brought Saint Peter’s Beard.”
–And it’s downhill from there. The OED “b” definition says a merkin is a “counterfeit hair for women’s privy parts,” and another dictionary calls it a “pubic hair wig.” Sorry, but these explanations defy understanding. I mean, I’ve heard of niche markets, but this is ridiculous. My own interest in the word isn’t just academic, as I’d like to make use of the fine quote of 1680, “Or wear some stinking Merkin for a Beard,” but I want to make damn sure I know what the original item was.
I have no idea who Cecil is but……
Haha!
Oh that mysterious Cecil. (“Help Cecil, help!”)
The best thing about the merkin (and don’t quote me on this) is its usage in poetry. Hence the merkin poetry suggestion. Merkin poems are quite famous and are recited in dark bars all across Europe and North America.
An example…
Merkin, Makin’ Bacon Takin’
Peel the skin back/Plunge the snake in
Shakespeare “Ode To A Merkin” (1605)
LOL! LOL!
Making Bacon.. nice. That Shakespeare, what a rouge.
Kevin or Sir Frances?
Canadian Peameal
and just how am I supposed to know that Canadian peameal is bacon? Huh???? Thank you Mr. google!
I’m Canadian.
Here, I’ll prove it…
“How’s it going, eh?”
“Nice merkin, eh.”
EH! Agreed…
I just wanted to say welcome to the blogging women directory. I too am a newcomer. Your “list” post is hilarious! Men really do need help in that category. I’m not sure if my husband gets it after all these years either. But I think I’ll keep him anyway. If you get a chance, stop by my site and take a peak at http://www.womenslifelink.com/memory-loss-is-it-normal/ It is funny and relevant to us over 40 gals. Good luck with your blog; I will subscribe.
Kellie, thanks.
I’ll pop in later today. We over 40 types got to stick together.
A sex tool and a pocketknife…wow!! I hope you’re a multi-tasker.
The hand’s back!!!
Really if we could just market a pocketknife with a sex toy attachment.. think of the money someone would make. I”m gonna talk to the chick at Edenfantasys … they’ve approached me about working with them. I”m halfway to my new career as a sex goddess/expert!
I say:
Have cozy evening at home with good food and wine provided, exclusive rights to the TV remote and a long foot massage.
All sounds very good.. maybe we could eliminate the TV?