Pop Those Black Balloons December 22, 2009

A fellow blogger, Andi of Misadventures with Andi invited me to write a guest post for her blog. Titled Pop Those Black Balloons I’m Not dead yet, I discuss our culture’s view of aging women.   Andi is an enterprising woman from San Francisco with a fabulous blog and a social media business. I’ve been reading Andi’s blog since we ‘met’ early last spring through 31 Days of Better Blogging. Her site is well written with interviews, great photos, food reviews and a glimpse into the world of France seen through the eyes of a a frequent traveler (and spouse of a Frenchman).

I consider it an honor to be viewed on her blog today. Please drop by and read not only my post but Andi’s work as well.

Saturday’s Sex Quote December 12, 2009

“Our culture uses sex in the most cynical way to “sell” anything- even though we blanch when sex is presented simply, or sold for itself.” Susie Bright (B.1958) American writer, editor

Women in Peril October 30, 2009

I came across this study today while perusing the NPR website.   Aptly called, Women in Peril.  This is appalling in ways that I can’t even begin to verbalize.  Take a look at the study, it gives examples and ratings across the major TV stations.

 

Finding #1: Violence against women and teenage girls is increasing on television at rates that far exceed the overall increases in violence on television. Violence, irrespective of gender, on television increased during the study period only 2% from 2004 (N=3840) to 2009 (N=3929), while the incidence of violence against women increased 120% during that same period (N=195-429).

 

Finding #2: Every network with the exception of ABC demonstrated a dramatic increase in the number of storylines that included violence against women between 2004 and 2009.

Finding #3: Although female victims appeared to be primarily of adult age, collectively, there was a 400% increase in the depiction of teen girls as victims across all networks from 2004 to 2009.

Finding #4: Fox stood out for using violence against women as a punch line in its comedies — in particular Family Guy and American Dad — trivializing the gravity of the issue of violence against women.

Finding #5: From 2004 to 2009 there was an 81% increase in the incidence of intimate partner violence on television.

Sing it baby! October 24, 2009

I found this over at Daisyfae’s place and thought it worth a share. I think the guy in the middle is cute.  Nice hips movements. Gotta love 3 guys who feel that uninhibited!

Do you really know what you need to know? October 16, 2009

There are so many questions in the world.  Do you know when the best time to buy ketchup is?  It’s May, just in time for picnicking.

There are so many important questions to life. And, many of us do not have answers. It keeps me up late at night, tossing and turning. This is important stuff!

Journalist Mark Di Vincenzo has just published a book called Buy Ketchup in May and Fly at Noon. The answers to all the questions you could ever wish to know are in this book. It sounds like a fun book to browse through.  I heard about this story yesterday on NPR and thought you might enjoy it as well.

I can’t say that all of his questions will provide earth-shattering answers, but….. This tidbit in particular seemed worth sharing.  Some of my blogging buddies (whose names shall remain unspoken) probably need to see this:

When is the best time in your life to start moderately drinking alcohol? Middle age. A study of 7,697 healthy people between the ages of forty-five and sixty-four — 442 of whom were nondrinkers at the start of the study — found that the new drinkers were 38 percent less likely to suffer a heart-related event than those who drank no alcohol. On average, the new drinkers, none of whom abused alcohol, had lower cholesterol and lower blood pressure and experienced no increase in mortality. So if you’re middle-aged and you don’t drink alcohol, should you start now? Maybe, if you drink moderately, but don’t start if your family history includes alcoholism.

So, in conclusion, to all my middle aged friends, drink one on my behalf!!!!

source:knowing what you don’t know

More than the sum of our parts September 1, 2009

My thanks to Dave, one of my readers for this story (though I doubt he knew what the result might be). He gave me this story in a comment on a recent post. I wasn’t sure where I wanted to go this morning and a link to a British story about golf caddies provided the stimulus for this little rant.  The story features a British company called Eye Candy Caddy, they rent out caddies!  Nothing wrong with that concept, women are perfectly capable of caddying.  The problem arose, and it arises for me as well, with the promotional aspect.  The caddies are shown on the Eye Candy website in lingerie.  

  I’m sick and tired of the way women are portrayed in our culture.  This isn’t about golf, this is about sex… actually it’s about a slick company manipulating women’s bodies and men’s insatiable urges to make money. The company’s quote; “We add that extra sparkle and difference to any golf day and put a smile on people’s faces.  All the girls are trained in the etiquette of golf and uniformed in appropriate golf attire. ”  Right!  Apparently several golf courses in Britain have banned these caddies from their courses, citing unprofessionalism.

We’re not all of the same mind on this issue.  Some would say if ’she’ volunteers then it’s ok.  The “women can make their own choices and be empowered” argument.  Others would say that it degrades all women when we portray the female body as simply a sex object. Certainly, images of women in tight, skimpy clothing with cleavage abounding, please a certain segment of the male population.  They also reduce us to mere body parts and create an atmosphere that allows for, even encourages at times, dangerous attitudes towards women.

As a woman, an educator, a grandmother, and someone who sees the violence perpetrated against women, on a daily basis, I don’t like seeing women as pin-ups.  I’m tired of the magazine ads showing women in helpless positions, surrounded by men (Versace ads in particular)- rape fantasies. Do men really only buy guns, cars, beer, boats… if a half naked woman is in the ad?  The advertising moguls are manipulating all of us.  They make men look like oversexed morons who can be swayed with a hint of cleavage and they reduce women to body parts.

I support a woman’s right to her to express her sexuality and her right to autonomy. I’m all for sexy lingerie, in the privacy of one’s own home. I like to look nice in my clothes, to dress to please on occasion. Those personal choices are not what I’m addressing.  I’m not advocating we take the veil, or be forced to cover ourselves up.  I believe our culture has gone too far in it’s portrayal of women as sex objects and I worry about about the direction we’re headed.   If you think I’m ranting needlessly, then I challenge you to spend this week looking at the images of women as you see them portrayed in your community.  Look around you. Comic books, movies, video games, billboards……… Go to the bookstore or magazine stand and pick up a copy of Teen magazine, or Vogue, or Maxim and look at it. Then look at the news- all the stories about violence perpetrated against women.  If you’re a man look at it through the eyes of a husband, father, brother, is this how you want the women in your life regarded?  I don’t know what the answer is, but I know that most of us would not actively choose to degrade women in that fashion.  But, I believe we’ve become so accustomed to what is around us that we no longer look objectively at the images portrayed.

Those Brits and their humour! August 14, 2009

I heard a story yesterday afternoon on NPR, during the drive home, on the Mighty Boosh, a comedic duo with a BBC television show.  The interview was hilarious and brought to mind the early days of Monty Python.  Apparently the show has developed a bit of a cult status in England.  I love the weird, very understated humor of shows like this though I know not everyone does.  I would much rather watch this kind of TV than watch the reality show garbage that is all over American airwaves.  Why on earth do we need some of the stuff on TV nowdays? Day to day life in a movie star’s house, people with wretched children (though I understand that started in England), and all the “I can” dance, sing, cut wood, lay pipe, etc….?

Faking it July 14, 2009

Last night, instead of folding laundry, I read an article in More magazine about women and orgasms.   There are several things I don’t like about this article.  First is the premise that lots of us fake orgasms.  The author states that about 1/3 of women don’t have orgasms during intercourse.  That I agree with.

This next bit I find objectionable:   Have we become a nation of female martyrs and thespians? Faking it and making it seem okay so long as someone is coming (I’ll just lay here in the dark and listen to you moan).

She proceeds to give tips on how to get your guy interested in helping you have an orgasm.   She offers up three strategies which range from using catchy phrases like,  “The wide receiver fumbled and there’s no way he’s going to make a touchdown.” To threatening him with the “talk” and finally to masturbating while he falls asleep, hoping to stimulate him into awakeness.  

I find this article simply insulting. I guess she means it to be tongue in cheek but…..  How many of us really fake orgasms? I did once….   If  a guy knows what it feels like when a woman has a real orgasm then it’s hard to fake it.  Unless he wants so desperately to feel successful he’s willing to believe the lie.  How many men are clueless about women and their sexual needs? I’d like to think men aren’t all that insensitive-though I have some personal evidence to support her theories.

 The Toronto Sun just published an article on the great Canadian Sex Survey .     The majority of men  indicate the whole sex act takes them about 30 minutes.    Two thirds of guys say their women never fake orgasm, but another third of the blokes aren’t so sure, according to… the survey.  However, fake-it-to-make-it may be the mantra here. Half of those surveyed said if they’re mate’s throwing a Meg Ryan performance that’s fine by them because it makes them feel better.

So maybe the woman in the More article was right?

C’mon guys! 

 

 

The condom fairy July 4, 2009

I’m working on a chapter in my book right now, it’s tentatively called Condoms.. You’ll see it in a day or so.  Here’s a teaser.. though no one looking like any of these 3 characters is actually in my story…Sigh

Role models May 13, 2009

I’m thinking about a comment made by a reader about the post, Balance in which I made a reference to Pollyanna, the movie. 

As I shared with my reader, I loved Pollyanna as a child. It was sappy and sentimental, classic Disney. Children need to know that things will ” be right”.  Even as adults we crave happy endings, predictability, closure.  That was part of the appeal of Pollyanna.  She made the best of things and brought goodness into her world and that of those around her.  We all want that for our own lives, for our children.

My most cherished childhood idol in movies was Glinda from the Wizard of Oz.  Admittedly she’s been my idol for some of my adult life as well. I even have a little Glinda doll.  Here’s the thing about Glinda.  She kicked butt!  She could make wishes come true. She had this smile that said “all will be well, and all manner of things will be well”  ( my deepest apologies to the mystic Julian of Norwich).  One needs to hear that sometimes.  As a child I wanted things to be ok.  I wanted reassurance, safety and comfort- no thank you to unpredictability.  Glinda looked to be calm and in control, she was unflappable.  She sounded sweet.   If I was/ am going to emulate Glinda then I get to keep on smiling, don my teflon suit and wave the wand.  And, make it all ok. 

 I even have the wand.. though mine is not jewel encrusted.